I did three days of Jason Vale’s Turbo Charge Your Life challenge, and I was miserable. Ok, miserable is a strong word. I was obsessive about what I was eating, and I was hungry. Jason says very contradictory things, like, “don’t snack in between meals” but “eat as much as you like within reason”, and “follow the programme to the letter”. He also says “don’t let the programme become your life”. The programme became my life, and I was obsessively thinking about when I could start cooking lunch because the juice in the morning was not enough for breakfast. I was obsessed with the hunger, and appropriate meal times, what was allowed, what wasn’t, and trying to fit it in with paleo bla bla bla bla.
So, I sightly failed at the 14-day challenge, by about 10 days, but you know what, it did give me the motivation to clean up my diet, and in the last week, I haven’t had a coffee, I’ve tripled my water consumption, and I haven’t smoked or thought about smoking a cigarette (and its been an emotional week!). I did have a slice of cake yesterday over a herbal tea with a friend #treatyourself. I don’t feel bad about the cake because I didn’t then order 5 more slices!
After ranting the other day, and mentioning Jackie Perez, a friend sent me another video of her being interviewed with Barbell Shrugged (below). I’ve skipped to the part that I really identified with, but watch the whole video or let it play in the background if you like, its good radio chat! They go over a bit of rowing technique and some other stuff too.
[I’ve been told my blog can get too ‘CrossFitty’ and people don’t understand what I’m talking about. Jackie Perez is an awesome crossfitter. Barbell Shrugged are a group of guys who interview athletes, post about weightlifting technique, they have an awesome newsletter and youtube channel (such an over-simplification, but go google them if you’re interested). I’m going to write a Ziggy Dictionary Soon!]
Things I love from that interview:
1. “This is your frame”, “This is your body”.
So much lately that has been coming up in my life is the word ‘acceptance’. I have to accept people for who they are, a situation for what it is, and myself, for who I am; I can’t control everything. There is only so much that I have control over – like my diet, or how much I’m working out, what type of training I’m doing. But I can’t magically change my frame. I managed to squat myself a bit of a bump on my behind, but my frame is petite, with little to no curves, straight up and down, no hips or boobs! We always want what we can’t have – I know so many of my friends in the gym who say “I wish I had your body”, and I look at them and think “I wish I had yours”. The sooner that I start accepting myself (not just my body), the sooner I will be happy and satisfied in every aspect of my life. FACT – happiness is internal.
2. “The beauty is in the journey”
So true. Its cringey, but its true. If I had gotten a quick fix and put little-to-no effort in, then I wouldn’t appreciate how far I’ve come. Having said that, I’ve also got to be kind to myself. It can be so easy to beat myself up about what I “should” be doing or how much I “should” be training or what I “should” be eating, but as long as I’m happy, what does it matter? This is just me, but when I put pressure on myself to perform or act a certain way, I very quickly become resistant to it and want to do the exact opposite. Like with the Turbo Charge Your Life – I became obsessive very quickly and upset with myself that I wasn’t doing things perfectly. So, I just stopped it. Those ‘perfect’ behaviours are very dangerous for me and my mental/spiritual wellness. When I allow myself to be imperfect, and accept those imperfections, I am kinder to myself and happier all-around. When I put healthy amounts of pressure on myself, and achieve those expectations, I feel proud of my achievements. For example, when I set the performance goal of “I want to add 5kg onto my backsquat”, and I achieve that, I feel proud.
3. “Everybody wants to look good”
And that’s ok. I can’t lie and say, I don’t care about the way I look, because I obviously do. I don’t inherently enjoy exercise – I hate running, I hate sit ups, I hate push ups! Having said that, I love CrossFit – I love working on my technique and feeling strong, and working out with my friends. I love Pole Dance – it makes me feel so sickening and fierce when I can land a move or a new spin, and if I can’t get it, I’ve automatically just given myself a goal to work towards. I didn’t start working out for those reasons though, or eating well because I was happy with my diet. At the end of the day, I do want to look good, and this is terrible, and I can’t believe I’m writing this, but a lot of the time, when my outsides make me happy, I’m happy on the inside. BUT, when ALL that I am focused on are my outsides, I am never happy. I like to try and work on both – I wake up in the morning and tell myself what I love about myself as a person, even if I don’t believe what I’m saying yet, and I try not to focus on the external stuff. Yes, I want to look good, but I also want to feel good about myself. The only person I am going to have a relationship with, for the rest of my life, is me, so I need to work on that relationship with myself, how I’m feeling, so much more than all the external bullshit.